Flying With A Toddler.
BEFORE YOU FLY.
When deciding what time of day to fly, consider your child’s typical schedule, but keep in mind that those often go out the window on travel days. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve told myself that my child will most definitely nap on a particular flight only to experience the opposite.
Immediately after booking your tickets, go to the airline’s website to select your seats.
For two adults and one child, aim for a contiguous window, middle, and aisle. But for two adults and two children, we typically prefer a middle and aisle next to another aisle and middle, all in the same row. Aisle access is key for toddlers who need to roam and/or use the restroom.
If you have a toddler who will be flying in a car seat, however, select the window seat as most airlines have safety rules requiring that car seats be placed in a window seat. Also, confirm that your car seat is FAA approved. We love the WAYB Pico for our older forward-facing toddler, and the Cosco Scenera Next for our younger, still rear-facing, one.
For long-haul flights, consider splurging on seats with extra leg room, especially if the bulkhead is available. Keep in mind that in the bulkhead, the armrest is immoveable (so you cannot lift it to allow your child to squeeze between two adults or to rest on your lap), but having no passengers in front of you with reclining seats means guaranteed extra leg room and space to play on the floor when the seat belt sign is not lit.
Ensure you are not seated in the exit row as all passengers must be 15 years of age or older.
Before paying additional fees for priority boarding, check your airline’s rules regarding traveling with children. Many airlines permit families traveling with children under two to pre-board before Group 1.
Confirm your airline’s rules regarding checked luggage. Some airlines allow you to curb check your stroller and/or car seat free of charge so it doesn’t count as one of your checked bags. Additionally, certain airlines will permit you to check both your stroller base and car seat at the gate whereas others only allow one or the other. Airlines often also have restrictions regarding the types of strollers they will permit to be gate checked.
Confirm your airline’s carry-on allowance policies. Certain airlines allow you to carry on a diaper bag, which does not count towards your carry-on allowance.
If you plan to stay at a hotel, be proactive and reach out to the concierge in advance to request items to make your stay more comfortable. Hotels can typically provide complimentary amenities such as a crib or roll-away bed, a changing table, a diaper genie, a high chair, a mini-fridge, and a microwave among other items.
Most hotels typically do not guarantee check-in prior to 3PM or 4PM. If you will be arriving earlier in the day and hope to nap your child in the room that afternoon, reach out to the hotel to explain, request an early check in, and obtain a realistic idea of that likelihood.
If you are staying in a location for more than a few days, consider ordering in advance from Amazon (or another retailer) or buying locally the bulk of your disposable items such as diapers and wipes.
Consider renting any equipment you need from a local purveyor. We have had wonderful success with rentals from BabyQuip in the U.S. and Baby'tems in Paris.
If you fly frequently, paying for a CLEAR membership as well as TSA PreCheck is worth its weight in gold. With CLEAR, you benefit from a dedicated security line where you scan your boarding pass and verify your identity with a touchless eye scan, and then a CLEAR ambassador escorts you to the front of the TSA line for physical screening. If you have TSA PreCheck, you do not have to remove your shoes or coat, or even your electronics and toiletries from your carry-on. Keep in mind that children under 18 do not need their own CLEAR membership, but if they are traveling on their own airline ticket, they must have their own TSA PreCheck. Also, check out the discounted CLEAR rates for American Express cardholders as well as United MileagePlus and Delta SkyMiles members.
If your children have never flown before, consider showing them a YouTube video or two beforehand so they can familiarize themselves with what an airport looks like (especially the part about going through security) and what to expect on the airplane.
The evening before you travel, charge and pre-load your children’s tablets with their favorite music, stories, movies, shows and/or games. Don’t forget to pack your diaper bag and/or carry-on as well with more snacks than you think you need and a lightweight assortment of books, stickers, and activities that your children enjoy. Here’s an in-depth look of what to pack in your diaper bag when flying with toddlers.
AT THE AIRPORT.
Arrive early and give yourself extra time.
Dress in layers. Airplane temperatures fluctuate and factors like carrying your children or having them lay on your lap will impact how hot or cold you feel.
Don’t stress about what your kids are wearing. Travel day is not the time to power struggle over whether an outfit matches, and your child will be much more content in an outfit of their choosing.
Encourage your children to select one stuffed animal from home to travel with them on the airplane.
Upon arrival, brief everyone on the airport plan. Toddlers love knowing what to expect! For example, “We are going to print out our boarding passes and then we will hand over our big suitcases to people who work for the airline, so our bags can meet us at our destination. Then we are going to take an escalator down to security, where we will walk through a special machine—your stuffed animal will get to go through their own machine! Then we will go pick up something to eat and sit next to our gate until it is time to get on our airplane.”
If your children are too young to walk comfortably throughout the airport, invest in a lightweight travel stroller. We have used our Babyzen YOYO2 for years and I am obsessed. It is narrow enough to wheel down the airplane aisle during boarding, folds easily with one hand, and is compact enough to be stowed in the overhead compartment.
When you reach security, ask your child to put their stuffed animal in a small bin and place that on the conveyor belt first before any of your luggage. Your child will be thrilled to see their bin come out first and wait more patiently for the rest of your family’s items.
If you have time to kill at the airport, try to keep your children moving so they burn up that energy and save the screen for once they are seated on the plane. Many airports even have dedicated children’s spaces with areas to play and climb.
Before you board, fill up your reusable water bottles and use the bathroom (and encourage your toddlers to do so as well).
ON THE AIRPLANE.
I prefer to pre-board with my young toddlers, so we can secure space to stow our overhead luggage—a hot commodity now that airlines are charging fees for checked bags! It also gives us extra time to get settled in to our seats, power on their tablets, and people watch during boarding.
Even if your airline does not announce that families with young children may pre-board, walk to the front of the line to ask if you may pre-board. Some airlines, such as United, always make these announcements whereas others, like American, typically do not.
During take off and landing, offer your children something to drink or chew to help their ears adjust to pressure changes.
Once the seat belt sign has been turned off, ask your child if they would like to use the restroom before settling in to a movie or show.
If your child is wearing headphones, encourage them to tap you if they need something rather than yelling your name.
Follow your children’s hunger and sleepy clues to help them stay as comfortable as possible on the flight. Travel day is not the day to limit snacks or force a nap.
In those rare moments when no one needs anything, breathe and open a magazine, listen to a podcast, or do whatever it is that relaxes you. You’ll be grateful for those few minutes later on.
When your child inevitably screams, cries, whines, spills a drink, makes a mess, throws something, has an accident, kicks the seat in front of them, or does something else that makes you want to lose your mind, take a deep breath. Your plane ride will, in fact, end. And your children take their emotional cues from you and de-escalate from a tantrum with greater ease if you remain calm.
In my experience, there are always a few folks that roll their eyes or sigh in annoyance when your toddler acts their age, but the majority of your fellow passengers have been there and they get it. They may even offer to lend a hand, in which case, do accept any and all help!
